(I know this is a bit of strange post, but I've been thinking about it and was curious if any other males out there knows what the hell I'm talking about)For all of my life, I've been a guy's guy: sports, comic books, drinking beer, playing poker etc. (I'm still very much all these things.) Hanging out with girls, unless it was in hopes of a relationship or sex, just didn't seem like that much fun or very appealing.
But something has changed over the past two or three years. I'm not really sure what happened, but I find myself enjoying the company of women over men more and more.
I wonder why that is. It's not because of sex; sure I'm attracted to some of the girls I hang out with, but that's an afterthought when I'm with them.
It comes down to this, I think (I realize these are generalizations): women, in general, are more thoughtful than men, and are better able to express those thoughts, emotions and insights. This makes for more thoughtful conversations as a result. Women, it seems, are generally better listeners too, and allow the conversation to flow its natural course. With the "boys," everything is a joke, everything is fun, but rarely is it enlightening or thoughtful in some meaningful way.
Don't get me wrong, I still want to watch football and play poker and shit and I wouldn't give up hanging out with the "boys" for anything because it's a huge part of my personality.
But when I want to chill and enjoy someone's company, I am turning more and more to women these days. It's a strange thing for me. But it's also, I think, a sign of finally leaving adolescence behind and maturing a bit...
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Ha, I feel like I've been experiencing the opposite. Maybe I'm regressing toward adolescence.
During college, I preferred the company of women to men, mainly because many guys in college tend to focus on beer and football. Some of my closest friends were girls from the bookstore where I worked or ones I knew from classes or summer programs. When I first moved to New York and taught, the majority of my coworkers and other teaching fellows were women, so again I spent a lot of my time with girls rather than guys.
It's really been in the last year or two where I've been hanging out with guys more. In certain ways, I feel it's "easier" to hang out with guys. When I'm hanging out with girls, even platonically, I feel like on some level I have be charming or funny. The so-called "self" that I maintain around women is probably more similar to the "self" that I employ at work all day every week, and it's relaxing to break from that when hanging out with other dudes.
Also, almost all of my close friends who are girls are in serious relationships, and so I see less of them.
i w/ homie above. in HS and college i was the nice guy/shoulder to lean on, so i hung out w/ a lot of women. i gave them advice, mused about the world, and philosophized with them. then as i got older and slightly bitter at the fact that a lot of women don't really know how to be a real friend (read: get into relationships, cease all communications), i kinda shrugged and kept it moving.
now its like "u never call me no more!" and i respond "goes both ways sista" lol
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